I am trying to absorb the boring essay.
But i guess the efforts were in vain.
So here i am, blogging.
This perhaps will be a long reading.


First my b'dae celebration.
Believe it, i celebrated almost a month earlier.
This b'dae celebration is so much different fro those i had for the past 20 yrs.
Every yr, i wil be pampered by those around me.
Surprises, presents, all planned parties.
This yr, everything was done on my own efforts.
I rem complaining to you, that if i am in Singapore things will be diff.
But i guess, it did not help much other than on the actual dae itself.
I miss the girls, miss the surprises that i always manage to figure out before it happens.

But at the end of the whole dae.
The party was alrighty.
It ended with me being smashed as usual. (Last yr was the worst.)
I hope everyone did enjoy themselves.
Appreciated everyone presence.
I know that she felt something was missing, but i still hope that this party creates a memory for her as well.

But in the end, i still haf to thank both of you.


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Ya 21 already.
Happie b'dae grace.
Hope you like the present.
Like what i told ya. You will LIKE it but might not LOVE it.
After all, its not red.
Surprise after surprise.
Its been my habit for my close friends.
There's no need for words of thank-yous.
If you do not deserve all these from me, who else do here?
Love ya, muackz!

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Been quarrels after quarrels.
Somehow, somewhere, somewhat, it will happen.
It always ended with tears.
I have never been at such a spot before.
Like what i said, perhaps that's why i rather different categories.
It just hurts whenever...
I wonder will it works.
Whats in vain?
Your efforts or do i not deserve it?

Its been long since we sat down and haf a good talk about everything.

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Been thinking recently.
Thinking about the past us, the future us.
The many ifs.
IF i did not come over.
IF i did not ignore that call.
IF i prefer my lifestyle now.
IF, If, iF, ifs...

Whats life gng to be like when i return.
Heard so much about your life from others.
Perhaps i should be the me i was.
I cannot figure you out anymore like in the past.
What exactly are you thinking?

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F-R-I-E-N-D-S-H-I-P.
Spoke to her yst.
We are no longer the girls.
We no longer hold confrontations in those classrooms.
We are no longer that simple.
Whats the real value?
I haf learnt too many lessons to understand this cruel reality.
My directions are changing.
I still haf one dependence.
Hope that it all remains this way.

Heard that everything is falling apart.
Despairs*

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More thoughts but...
Ta.



All to be single till i get back. Ha.