IF I CAN'T DO IT.
WHAT RIGHTS DO YOU HAVE?
Limits.
♥ I'm still missing...
9:40 PM
Exams coming up.
Really soon.
Am i prepared at all?
N-O-P-E!
Mugger.
*************************************************************
What am i going to do without it?
Yes, there is a solution But.
How i wish i did not leave you for that split second.
That split second changes so much physically and emotionally.
I am scared.
Scared of the maybes.
Scared of the repeats of history.
****************************************************************
Sometimes...
I just could not be bothered.
I had already found those i truly need.
Is there still a need for exploration?
Sometimes...
I just hate it if i am forced to do so.
Hate this word. Sxxxxxxxxxx
You never ever seems to understand.
***************************************************************
I just realised.
You did not even bother to send me a simple msg.
What were we doing on your day?
Who were there on your day?
Those efforts and memories meant so little to you?
Did i ever regret doing it for you.
No, i never did.
But now i see the true you.
You worth less than what you deserve to worth.
Stress is a killer.
♥ I'm still missing...
4:57 PM
December.
Cambodia!
Why out of so many places. Why there?
Goodness.
Japan, Korea, Hong Kong.
Take your pick.
But why Cambodia?
Anyone been there before?
Pulu-Pandan.
Arghz.
I tot we had little time to ourselves.
Now time is a bigger issue for us.
Hmm...
I wonder...
Huge xxxxx.
Unnecessary expenses.
Sighs.
Hope it will never happen again.
♥ I'm still missing...
10:38 PM
A picture that says a thousand words... I love you.
Muackz.
♥ I'm still missing...
7:57 PM
21st October 2007.
The dae i stepped into adulthood.
My Birthday represents your anniversary as well.
Still missing you.
Curious about my day?
Sydney Wildlife Park.-nothing compared to Singapore's zoo.
Musashi Restaurant.-nothing compared to ichiban boshi (wisma atria br)
Big Echo.-4 microphones.
Thanks Reu for everything you did.
Thanks Grace for being my jie mei.
Thanks Dony for showing me the wonders of bluepoint.
Thanks Arlina and Andrew for being present and the present.
Thanks Weisheng for being the planner and all the troubles.
Thanks Chia How and Wilson for getting such a thoughtful gift.
Thanks Sherwin for being the "songs-dj" for the night.
Thanks Malcom for being there and the "cd".
Thanks to ALL for sending their wishes.
What a birthday in SYDNEY.
****************************************************************
When asked, whats my favourite gift SO FAR. (As I know i have more gifts to come...)
The VIDEO!
When asked, whats my biggest surprise SO FAR.
The VIDEO!
Without you all, i really am nothing.
My life holds no meaning without you guys' presence.
It sounds real cheesy but i mean it.
"Always late!"
"Blusher"
"Vain"
"Always Drunk!"
What comments are those!
Hello, WHOSE THE B'DAE GIRL?
Ha.
But who know me best, its still you guys.
Sheryl: What a picture.
Hello do we look that bad!!??
Ha i love you as much too.
"Romeo and Juliet"
True friends you do not need much.
You guys are all i need.
So many years already and we are still counting.
16th B'dae Parties.
Secondary School Prom night.
18th B'dae Parties.
Poly Graduation.
21st B'dae Parties. (Jing and Cindy coming up...AND I WILL BE THERE!)
Whats next?
Weddings.. I want to be the Bridesmaid!!!
Babies' birthdays...
50th B'dae Parties. (Da Shou!)
I will forever be there for you all.
And i know you all will be too. (IF YOU DISAGREE PLS STATE UR VIEW IN MY CHATBOX!)
***************************************************************
8/20!
I have woken up.
Attendance!
Whats the point of getting good grades for everything else when such stupid issue pulled you down so badly.
Stupid nory!
From now on,
A mugger i shall be.
From next sem,
A nerd i shall be.
Cross my fingers ...
and hope that some fairy godmother will grant me my wish to be a mugger and nerd!
Pretty pretty Please.
Thats all.
Ta!~
Credits please...
♥ I'm still missing...
7:23 PM
Today is the day.
Am i happy?
Missing what i had...
♥ I'm still missing...
1:24 AM
Everytime when i read "the" post.
I feel real disgusted.
How did you see me when ya blogging at that moment?
Will history repeats itself on such occasions?
Read previous posts.
Possible to move on so fast?
Suspicious.
Especially i know well, what you haf gone thru.
Are we heading towards the right direction?
When we return, will things still be the same?
*************************************************
My heart skipped a beat.
I can feel your agony and frustrations.
Its so you.
Nothing much can change the facts.
Just be careful.
Seat belts please.
Do i still understand you?
**************************************************
One more week to my official date.
I am the least excited about it.
If i had the plans. Hmmm.
I guess i will never feel the same as the last 20 years.
Perhaps it could be the worse.
21st October.
The 3rd year.
Why did you choose this very day?
You know i love you dearly, so why make this day my agony?
Or its your way to show me, your love.
I believe it is.
I miss you so much.
Just the thought of you, i seem to be unable to control my own emo.
Your face still remain so clear in me.
I tried to cook the fav dish but it was far far different from the one you prepared.
That day, 3 yrs ago, i still remember.
How the news was told.
The shivers, the breakdown.
I really miss you.
I really regret.
Regret not seeing you the last time.
Why was i not told of the truth, the conditions.
If i knew, i will be there for you every moment.
I really miss you.
Your death represents my birth.
"Po-po"
♥ I'm still missing...
11:44 PM
Do you miss me?
DATE OF ARRIVAL: 22nd NOVEMBER 2007
TIME OF ARRIVAL: 9+ pm
Those deemed as friends shall be present.
♥ I'm still missing...
11:48 PM
After all the readings and screamings...
Now then i realise.
Your understanding of me is that limited.
In fact, do i know you?
Perhaps its the end.
♥ I'm still missing...
10:06 AM
I am trying to absorb the boring essay.
But i guess the efforts were in vain.
So here i am, blogging.
This perhaps will be a long reading.
First my b'dae celebration.
Believe it, i celebrated almost a month earlier.
This b'dae celebration is so much different fro those i had for the past 20 yrs.
Every yr, i wil be pampered by those around me.
Surprises, presents, all planned parties.
This yr, everything was done on my own efforts.
I rem complaining to you, that if i am in Singapore things will be diff.
But i guess, it did not help much other than on the actual dae itself.
I miss the girls, miss the surprises that i always manage to figure out before it happens.
But at the end of the whole dae.
The party was alrighty.
It ended with me being smashed as usual. (Last yr was the worst.)
I hope everyone did enjoy themselves.
Appreciated everyone presence.
I know that she felt something was missing, but i still hope that this party creates a memory for her as well.
But in the end, i still haf to thank both of you.
*****************************************************
Ya 21 already.
Happie b'dae grace.
Hope you like the present.
Like what i told ya. You will LIKE it but might not LOVE it.
After all, its not red.
Surprise after surprise.
Its been my habit for my close friends.
There's no need for words of thank-yous.
If you do not deserve all these from me, who else do here?
Love ya, muackz!
*******************************************************
Been quarrels after quarrels.
Somehow, somewhere, somewhat, it will happen.
It always ended with tears.
I have never been at such a spot before.
Like what i said, perhaps that's why i rather different categories.
It just hurts whenever...
I wonder will it works.
Whats in vain?
Your efforts or do i not deserve it?
Its been long since we sat down and haf a good talk about everything.
********************************************************
Been thinking recently.
Thinking about the past us, the future us.
The many ifs.
IF i did not come over.
IF i did not ignore that call.
IF i prefer my lifestyle now.
IF, If, iF, ifs...
Whats life gng to be like when i return.
Heard so much about your life from others.
Perhaps i should be the me i was.
I cannot figure you out anymore like in the past.
What exactly are you thinking?
*******************************************************
F-R-I-E-N-D-S-H-I-P.
Spoke to her yst.
We are no longer the girls.
We no longer hold confrontations in those classrooms.
We are no longer that simple.
Whats the real value?
I haf learnt too many lessons to understand this cruel reality.
My directions are changing.
I still haf one dependence.
Hope that it all remains this way.
Heard that everything is falling apart.
Despairs*
***************************************************
More thoughts but...
Ta.
All to be single till i get back. Ha.
♥ I'm still missing...
8:01 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAE MUMMY.
First time i am away from her on her bdae.
Dropped her an e-card and msg.
Thought she will be overjoyed receiving it, after all her dear daughter rem her b'dae.
But.
The reply i got was...
Hope that he understands.
Two boys at home, please be there for her.
Anything update me.
Another person to wish.
Happie birthday Donny too.
Hope ya like the gift.
Too bad ur usual preference sold out.
Addicted to your presence.
♥ I'm still missing...
8:21 PM
Holidaes ended.
Time to work super hard.
A 40% essay due next wk.
Again.
Exams are coming in a month time.
It also shows that i am
gng back to Singapore soon.
And my actual 21st is coming up.
;)
Holidaes itinerary:
1. Hunter Valley
2.21st
b'dae party
All activities will be elaborated with pics in later posts. (if i am not lazy)
If not,
facebook is the best elaboration.
Joel went back today.
Realised that he really understands me.
I missed him already.
Thanks for being there for me always.
Thanks for everything.
The other one.
So much to say.
But just could not be bothered anymore.
The last one.
I only need you.
So much to think about...
♥ I'm still missing...
2:27 PM
