gloomyLast night was meant to be a happy ending.
However, it was a disaster.
I thought i left the hole of being homesick
After one huge round, i am back to the same spot.
One phrase brought smile to my face the moment i woke up.
I hate being alone.
Thankfully, I had you.
I really was stupid, sorry.
Yet again, insults.
I do not know my next step anymore.
I seemed to be of more insignificance as the days go by.
I can accept it but it got worse.
Will history repeats itself again?
I know where i should be but am i ?
♥ I'm still missing...
11:17 AM
Holidays coming to an end.
YET! I am nowhere seen near my books.
Goodness. Panic attack again over spilled milk.
2 more days to buck up, nory!
Oh another interesting event happened today.
I had my hair cut again for $55 AUSSIE DOLLARS!
(Sheryl must be going... OOOOO....Aww...)(One hair cut and i have got lots of boos. Will you go crazy, if i go once a month? I love your attention tho!)Well, market rate here is $40 equivalent to Seletar Estate's Sally.
So $60 gives you Reload's quality.
I had my hair done by a Japanese lady.
Their service is really good and their smiles never melt from their faces.
Best of all, they have better skills than Kelvin!
3 Cheers!
Bad news is my hair is getting from short to shorter.
I do miss my long hair.
I can present a different person each day, with long hair.
Short hair though supposedly stylish, i do feel boring-looking.
So are you willing to tolerate my grumblings ?
I saw that blog.
It makes me miss you even more.
The familiar scenes that they took, makes me wonder.
"How unfair can fate be?"
Like what i said in earlier post, the pictures shall do the talking of my "fabulous" trip to Port Stephens.
But!
Too much pictures, too little space.
So bits and pieces will be up in each following posts.
I will first start off with my "mini-Sahara" pieces.
Do forgive me for my FASHION DISASTER.
Its not a choice then, it was raining heavily.
Therefore, i gotta wear my beautiful jacket over my "board-shorts" looking dress.
And, the helmet stinks.
So, of course, i gotta wear my hood to protect my wonderful smelling hair right?
O on side note: My camel was named OZZY!
My favourite survivor star this season.
Here goes:
Where am i ?
♥ I'm still missing...
6:11 PM
Holidays.
2 weeks of school and here comes my mid term break.
How unbelievable?
Ridiculous!
It had been such a wonderful and busy weekend.
So much to update.
However, not now but the next entry.
Been so busy but i always had you hanging at the back of my mind.
Sorry.
I wonder when...
♥ I'm still missing...
7:45 AM
Omg. Fats.
Yesterday was a special day.
Certain times, it held so much meaning.
Yet on particular occasions, we just paced past it without much notice.
However, yesterday was a memorable one.
When i recalled the response i got, i was touched.
Although not physically present, mentally i totally am.
It had been a good week.
We are moving forward slowly.
I am moving at the pace you wished or wanted.
Is this the way you love it to be?
Insults.
I had moved on to complete the diary that i used to be writing.
Now, my eyes only see this diary.
Only this diary, deemed fit as my life-companion.
Again, i wonder.
Am i the one?
I am in love with...
Small yet much efforts.
♥ I'm still missing...
12:46 AM
The Difference.
sheryl's passion: cam-whoring18th March 2008.
I had my lessons as usual.
And again, i missed my lecture.
How could anyone wake up for their 9am classes?
Its totally impossible for me.
Its really disturbing, the dilemma.
Nonetheless, i will pushed myself harder next week.
After all, results do not walk into my life on its own.
Thursday: Port Stephens.
Well, am i excited?
My first official road trip in Aussie.
Its a fantastically planned and organised trip.
Every single details are well taken care of, i am grateful for tt.
Cross my fingers and hope that it will be a blast.
Its a special day, today.
Am i being noted?
♥ I'm still missing...
7:02 PM
Plastered to my wall
Hows life?
Well, the toughest problem has been solved for now.
Though no finalisation yet but i still breathe a sigh of relieve.
I definitely love the idea of having you around.
With you or without you, our life will not be much of a difference.
Its only you, that i am afraid.
Lets get it over and done with.
This solution, solved my other headaches.
Hurray!
Totally loving it.
Ok, admit it
I had not been working half as hard as i needed to.
Whats with the aims for distinctions, when i am not putting my heart into it.
Work it out!
Heard stories about Sembawang Secondary.
Grwww...
What the hell am i doing in Aussie?
Whose not anticipating that!!!
Ended.
I wonder if you remember?
♥ I'm still missing...
2:18 PM
There were so much ups and downs recently.
At the end of the day, my stand still stays.
I still put you above anything else.
I do know that i am not the priority of your life now but at least i hope i ain't the last.
Promises do stand right?
I am so happy for you, my best friend.
Your been through so much in love, that you deserve a good break.
Being in love and being loved is just the best-est thing you can ever ask for.
I just pray that his the right one.
I cannot judge for you cause i am far but i do believe in this judgement of yours.
Life in Sydney has still been hard.
Hope that this semester will be a breeze.
I am already anticipating for June, to see you and everyone.
Muackz!
Why do i always live to regret?
♥ I'm still missing...
12:05 PM
I never knew how insecurity felt like.
I had always lived a bless life.
Primary school days, i had my grandmother.
Secondary school days, i had you girls.
Poly days, still you girls.
Till now, its still the girls and my family.
However, in recent history, you made contributions to my well led life.
The life that you had path for me since the first day we met, felt ever so protected.
But, these all changed within a night.
I
reaslied that the walls had came down, crashing so hard on me that i felt breathless.
How much have you actually changed?
How much am i suppose to change?
I lost the original self, in this whole incident.
Faith.
The
original me, would have lost it all.
Because of you, i am atill willing to give it my all.
Again, how much are you willing to give?
Indeed, certain event carries a heavier cost than me.
Understanding is indeed essential.
Nevertheless, am i that un-worthy?
I would have made a fuss in the past, now i have changed yet again for you.
Why?
It still does not occur to you, how much it hurts?
That statement.
It just seems like a breeze to you, doesn't it?
I am afraid.
At the end of the day, i will still put you above anything else.
I am in love, am i ?
♥ I'm still missing...
10:41 PM
i thought you were the one.
perhaps i was wrong.
wrong to such an extend, that i may have difficulties climbing out of that hole i dug.
i still believe in it.
but may not put my whole faith anymore.
i fall before, i do not wish to open up my scar to become a wound.
it had never been this way.
why has it changed?
the fool.
2nd karma.
♥ I'm still missing...
2:13 AM
Elliott Yamin - Wait for youI never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you & I'm wishing that you would come back through my door ooooo
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone, Girl you could have stayed but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
No matter how tough it goes.
Understood?
Again, do you understand?
♥ I'm still missing...
8:12 PM
For once, i finally did it alone.
I always thought it was the impossible.
Tho its hard, i still managed it.
Now, i am even clearer of who i need.
Do you understand?
♥ I'm still missing...
3:17 PM
Many of us were caught saying, " i could not believe i am back on this route."
Australia.
I finally came back to my nightmare.
Again, I start grumbling about this unforseen fate.
This time round, perhaps 4 months, perhaps 11.
Thats why i could not hold back those tears which were meant for myself to know.
The previous escape was not an imapct as it was short.
However, it's all different now.
The very first day, i felt homesick.
Never thought i would miss my "mummy" so much before.
If its not for you, maybe i will feel much better.
So this is how homesick really feels like...
My body still could not adjust to this foreign land.
I slept at 6am (3 am: sg time) and wakes up at 4pm(1pm: sg time).
The typical nory's routine in Singapore.
WORST OF ALL, I AM HAVING A OUTBREAK!
ITS BEEN SO LONG.... ARGHZ!
For the past few days, i been slapping tonnes of facial products on my face.
Toner, essence, moisturizer, pimple cream, night repair cream, masks...
Another bad news.
Been looking for houses but it was all in vain.
Huge demand met with minimum supply.
Its either not ideal or over-priced.
Anyway, school's going to start in a few days.
I shall try to fulfill my new year resolution of being "hardworking".
I LOVE DISTINCTIONS!!!!
p.s: i love you, rui. (saw ya blog)
Be strong, nory.
Your my everything.
♥ I'm still missing...
5:44 PM
gloomy
Omg. Fats.
The Difference.
