♥ I'm still missing...
4:58 AM
What a bad way to start off my hols.
Chinese Laundry:
EW!
House and techno all night long.
DAMN!
Wasted my time.
To prove my statement...
Joel actually fall asleep in the club.
In the end, three of us ended walking around.
Found ourselves at the casino.
The night ended hmm, well sorta of okay for me.
Fish market:
Evil birds of the world UNITE!
I hate those birds.
Ever since tt fateful night at darling harbour, trying to eat my fish and chips.
I hate those birds to the core.
Fish market was alrighty.
The guys were crazy.
They ate oysters as tho there was no tomorrow.
I was forced to try one.
Vomitted out the moment it touched my tongue.
Yucks.
Its as tho ay drinking sea water.
How could they ate it down.
But 0.5kg of salmon sashimi was GOOD.
Yummy.
The fishes were fresh too!
KTV:
3 hours for $10.
Cheap. Ha.
Casino (AGAIN!):
One word: DISASTROUS!
No comments on it.
Hope everything gets better.
Holidays.
Boring post.
Cross my fingers...
♥ I'm still missing...
12:41 AM
Random thoughts.
I am still missing.
But learning to take things in a lighter manner.
The most problematic girl?
Ha.
This totally told me that i got to take you in a lighter tone.
Continue the old way, we will be
enemies someday, somehow!
Things which we used to quarrel about, i have learnt to laugh over it.
Laughter may not be the true emo.
But i got to learn.
Its too tiring always debating.
You agreed too.
The last time i tried to make things better.
It seemed that ya able to laugh through everything.
Again, i'm the fool.
So...
Conclusion: look at the bright side of life. ;)
Drag...
♥ I'm still missing...
6:07 PM
Tml shall be the official first day of Sch Hols in Sydney.
Haf many big plans coming up.
But FIRST! I haf to clear my essay by 5pm tomorrow.
Once i haf done so, i am a free woman.
Realised many are travelling this hols.
What am i doing?
Finally some progress with the celebration.
Hopes that everything goes smooth.
Lets keep our fingers cross on the reservations.
Damn anyone who books the bar on 29th September!
And i MEAN IT.
My recent craze: Counter-Strike.
Missing all the times in cineleisure.
Its been so long since i last caught a movie.
Not mentioning the usual midnight shows.
I haf so much to catch up.
MY IMPROVEMENTS:
People do kindly contact TAN GHIM PENG & AUBREY THAM to view the following evidence.
Player Name: nory / Frags: 128!!!
Getting over...
♥ I'm still missing...
1:52 AM
I am stressed up. AGAIN.
Friday is the deadline.
Business report for Business communications.
I have done nothing much till now.
Its so much yet i am still at the beginning.
So unfair for such a huge weightage assignment to be placed on the wk right after mid sem.
Especially when everyone is getting into their holiday mood now.
Thats not the only bad news.
I haf another 40% essay to hand up immediately after hols.
WTH !?
Whats definition of hols?
PLAY SUPER HARD W/O STUDIES!
Birthday celebrations.
So much ideas but yet so restricted by many issues.
Just hope that everything turns out well.
Clubs / Function rooms?
Hmmm...
O ya, just a reminder: Tho grace and i are celebrating tog!
But we are seperate individuals.
So we need seperate presents! ha.
Three cheers to that reminder!
I just found out that the air tix back to Singapore is not as expensive as i tot.
Its ard 1.2k aussie.
But...
Missing you guys a lot.
I dun care! i shall fulfil my b'dae plans when i get back to Singapore.
BY HOOK OR BY CROOK!
Yst:
Daytime:
Bondi Junction.
It does not seem to have anything much.
All the cheap bargains i am looking forward to seems to be untrue.
But i did found a few fav. brands there.
Mango, novo.
Joel managed to get a cap after all.
Next shopping targets: a party hat and beach hat.
Nighttime:
Oxford street / City.
Had dinner at oxford street.
And explored places i never dreamed of stepping in.
Made a treasure discovery in the city.
A new KRISPY KREMES branch in QVB.
Thank god for that branch, now i do not haf to travel to the "hulu pandan" br at wanyard? st.
Got the chance to eat my fav. wedges from woolworths again.
Din realise that i missed it that much.
Praise the CHICKEN SALT!
Ta!
Cravings: Krispy Kremes (original glazed) ...
♥ I'm still missing...
10:35 AM
Whadever?
I simply fall in love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In5uec02E8UAgain.
Same issues.
So sick of it no?
Last night was a blast of laughter.
ACTION PACKED heart attack was a killer.
I acted like a total drunkard.
* Buang-ness *
Still planning the celebration.
Ideas anyone?
When will be enough?
♥ I'm still missing...
10:17 AM
Up next:
MY BIRTHDAY WISH LIST!I am turning 21st.
So i guess i get the rights to shout out what i want no?
The list ya going to see below, perhaps could be bimbotic Or wilful.
But who cares.
Its MY birthday wish list.
1. Successful 21st partyThis holds great significant to me, esp when i haf given up on...2. Nintendo Wii 3. Clothes Topshop, Zara, Mango, Glassons, Myers, Supre, David Jones...4. BagsGucci, LV, Burberry5. Shoes of any kindas6. Nissan march 7. iPhone 8. iPod (NOT SHUFFLE!!!)Been missing it since...9. All - paid trip to Gold Coast10. Everyone's wishesHa. Most of the stuffs mentioned above are unrealistic no?
But like what i say.
To hell with it.
Its my desires....
Muackz !
Ta.
I wonder, will desires turn reality? ha.
♥ I'm still missing...
10:59 AM
Why?
Why the choice of SYDNEY instead of Singapore?
I missed all so much but yet i still chose here tho the option of heading back was possible.
I did my maths.
On my account. Tho what i spent heading back may be the same as here.
But. when i add all the amounts you all sponsored...
the value comparison differs drastically.
Not only that.
I really feel bad about it.
Those amounts aren's small at all.
Especially for some of you. *students.*
At the end of the day, impractical was my conclusion.
I really love you guys a lot.
Rui- ha. Biggest sponsor! (What to do, since ya my best bud!)
Cindy - Muackz! What can i do without you.
Esther - Ya not working, yet... We have so much to catch up when i get back.
Jing - Thanks for ya advices.
Aubrey - Hm. Ya no longer responsible for anything but yet. Thanks!
Ghim - Ha ya surprised me the most! Thanks!
PERHAPS. i shall fulfill my dream when i get back.
Belated?
Or maybe i will use "gathering" as an excuse.
Nevertheless. I still expect presents from the people above!
Savings from air tixs can be channeled to other areas.
Ha.
I will post my birthday wish list up soon.
For now. i really need to plan about my party here.
I really hope that everyone will turn up.
Hope that things will run smoothly.
COSTUME PARTY?
***************************************************
Joel arrived.
We were so silly.
We waited at the wrong arrival gate.
He was unable to contact me.
Therefore, miscommunication caused us 45 mins of waiting.
Silly.
Casino.
The guys were depressed during the first hr.
Lost pretty a bit.
But!
While i was playing the boring slot machines.
Two of them managed to locate the "perfect" blackjack table.
Fro there.
Everyone recouped their losses.
On top of that, there were gains too.
Happie for them. :)
So much more activities to look forward to.
*****************************************************
Yst.
I was told of the distance.
I felt it too.
But.
Instead of feeling happie about the distance, i felt real bad.
Regardless of what we should be.
Distance should not be present.
We had so much in memories.
Will we just be in such distance that all memories hold no meanings anymore?
What builds the distance?
How many times haf i tried to include your presence.
But.
Whats the answer i always get?
Where do you contribute to the distance? i wonder.
Arghz.
****************************************************
You.
Ya always living in ya own world when his around.
Its like as tho. everything that we built seemed insignificant.
Its been not once, not twice, but a numerous of times.
I understand what ya going through.
But it does not mean that you should ignore how i feel.
We talked about it before.
But i guess you did not take it seriously enough.
I realised that anger was the not word but disappointment is.
Just cross my fingers and hope that things will get better....
Once ya settled esp.
***************************************************
O ya. Just to mention.
I totally screwed up one of my mid sem paper.
Fuck it.
Will it be successful?
♥ I'm still missing...
10:27 AM
I have decided!
I will be holding my 21st b'dae celebration in Sydney!
People from Sydney. Better turn up for the celebration!
Muackz!
♥ I'm still missing...
10:36 AM
Am i a fool?
I should be studying but yet...
I am wasting time on stupid actions.
You made me a fool.
I thought you will be there for me.
But no.
I had to find consoles within myself.
Ain't i obvious enough?
You always made me feel so suffocated.
I took the step.
So much i wanted to say.
But... everything was left unspoken.
Am i selfish like what you claimed?
Perhaps i am.
But you know who i was from the very start.
How others treat me?
Formed what i am today.
Whats definition of selfish to you: everything about myself?
You accused me of stuffs that i had not done.
And you know i hate to be accused.
Do you have to go to the extend of doing that?
Its my life.
Like what someone told ya before, " do i have to report to you?"
I never like been restricted.
What if i cannot be what you want me to be?
I haf no intentions to go official.
Guilty.
♥ I'm still missing...
6:09 PM
21st B'dae.
Now that i have some confirmation.
At least i have a direction.
But is this direction practical?
Should i follow the emos?
So much to weigh.
I haf asked so many for the right path.
Yet, no one managed to pull the right strings.
There are some whom took it as a joke.
Those who do not understand how much it meant to me.
Sydney versus Singapore.
New friends versus girlfriends.
I really appreciate ya efforts.
Love you all so so much...
Muackz!
Dilemma?
♥ I'm still missing...
10:27 AM
Accounting test performance:
I believed in a pass!
But i hope its at least a credit.
Last minute cramping does help.
But it does not gives me a good grade.
Ha.
But i am proud to announce that now i know some NUTS about accounting.
Just a few days ago, i was a complete idiot.
Hope that i performed okay.
Next up: QMA.
I haf spent all my brain cells on Accounting.
Nothings left for tonight.
Tomorrow.
Full day tour to the QMA " world".
To hell with annuities!
***********************************************************
Saw them.
I really am so disgusted by you.
Ya cold-blooded no?
When i looked through the pictures we once shared.
I realised that you spell friendship as N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
Friendship holds no meaning for you true?
I made efforts once i am here but you?
I will never forgive you.
Unless ya worth the second chance. But i doubt.
You may share the same sentiments as me.
But i haf learn to ignore your presence.
I have what you don't.
All you need is him and one her.
You just do not know how to treasure.
Hate it when people ask me about you.
And yet i still hafta shield for you.
***********************************************************
I made a confession yst.
To both.
The night ended with no conclusion again.
Whats next?
Leading back my life?
What are you actually thinking?
I really wonder haf you let go your past.
You might haf said this.
But i believe in that.
What an emo post. Ew.
Ta.
I'm sorry...
♥ I'm still missing...
8:30 PM
This shall be devoted purely to my MST.
What was i doing for the past whole wk?
I haf a plan.
But where has it all disappear to?
ARGHZ.
How dead am i ?
I think i can bury myself alive.
I going to have my Accounting test tml.
Yet i still have no idea what it is about.
Todae's itinerary, a full day visit to the accounting "world".
No more distractions, no more wishful thinkings, no more desires.
20% ~
Qma coming up next.
That should be manageable.
At least i know whats going on.
Hope i could score to make up...
**************************************************
New blog skin.
Outta blue.
I was feeling disgusted with my old blog skin.
I still prefer the basics; black and white.
It looks more classic now, no?
Music: Beautiful girls, ha.
Contributor: Chen Ruimin.
**************************************************
Saw some pics you all had.
Again, i felt emo on my cheeks.
Perhaps it was the recent pressure or...
If you all are here.
Or if i am back.
"fish boons"~~~
***************************************************
I felt the guilt.
But the feeling doesn't go off.
What am i thinking?
Why am i still thinking?
I haf made my mind so many times but yet.
Just a few movements and i will start thinking again.
I hafta move, before....
Was she right?
♥ I'm still missing...
9:35 AM
I never tot this dae will come.
As in to such an extend.
That it just keeps rolling down my cheeks.
I was caught my surprise with my own emotions.
The spark: the talk on sheryl's b'dae.
It just makes me feel the need of you guys' presence on my 21st b'dae.
We have all been longing for this day to come.
So much talks, so much excitement.
Yet i am missing out on so much.
It really suxs.
Suxs...
I could not explain the frustrations and disappointments.
However, smile lit up.
When i was offered a chance to be with you guys on my b'dae.
So much so, that just the tot of it, makes me so excited.
My wish: uniform party at macs!
How possible is possible?
Is it really a reality?
When theres hope, theres disappointment no?
However. One strong issue holding me back:
I hope to have my party here with you too.
But.
The people here aren't enough to justify for the loss of my friends' presence.
They are too much to be missed.
However, no plans are confirmed yet. So...
If i am not here.
I will def be here to celebrate urs for ya.
Todae:
Went to ikea.
Got lots of his stuffs.
His going to have his "space"?
Happy little boy ain't you?
Got lots of sauces!
Whats with the "president milk / whipping cream"???
They dun sell it!
Shall source for the alternative soon.
Missing the meatballs already...
Happie 21st b'dae sheryl!
Long live to our friendship.
Next target: bridesmaid!
Am i hoping for too much?
♥ I'm still missing...
9:35 PM
♥ I'm still missing...
10:09 PM
Everything about him.
I do admit that i do so.
Everything was sub-consciously.
Hmm.
Remember i said, i am used to his presence?
I still am trying to adapt to it.
I am also learning: to not expect so much anymore, especially after tt episode.
Perhaps.
He do this, he do that.
He said this, he said that.
We shared some recent memories that will just come back to me.
I just share my tots.
Perhaps its my bad for not considering how you would feel.
Towards him...
We are plainly friends on certain terms.
However....
What if.
I could not be what you want me to be?
What if.
She appears more than the number of your fingers.
What will be the conclusion?
The fact that theres no concrete answer.
Still proves nothing no?
Whats Excessive?
♥ I'm still missing...
9:08 PM
This post is real random.
Lil lazy to get all the pictures up.
This is actualy at my place.
I look so bad in all the pictures.
But... Ha.
Part of everything...
the rest: high but sober...
still high...
random shot.
the overly high...
Getting the overly high one to wake up her senses!
♥ I'm still missing...
2:46 PM
Pictures that speak a lot...
I randomly chose some to post!
Recalling... we were so late that day.
Rubbie, never been my game?
Wet?
People say i look ...
Ouch! You ain't drunk?
Had to hold her jaw. Just did plastic no?
Oops! Extra.
What an idiot!
Love em to bits...
♥ I'm still missing...
2:37 PM
Down...
Feeling the hit of mid sem exams..
Suffering fro the consequences.
It hit me pretty badly that moody-ness seemed to be always in me recently.
Todae.
I missed almost all my classes. in fact, all.
Again.
I hafta to do smth about it.
BC: woke up late. no more morning classes i guess fro next sem.
Accounting: why check this wk? arghz. felt like an idiot walking back.
OB: totally could not absorbed the article in. den what for head to class? will feel like an idiot AGAIN.
OB lect: how come i am always late for this class? corrective actions.
Stressed up by how much i am missing out in studies.
i am super fucked up with myself.
so frustrated at my lack of self discipline.
I swear off, no skipping of classes anymore. (really hope i can fulfill this to the max)
Got so f. off by myself .
Feeling so stupid, that i went to trim my own hair.
I jus snipped anything that comes to sight.
Thankfully. the outcome still looks like the me.
So tempted to turn my hair str and short.
Perhaps thats what i gng to do when i go back to singapore.
I do not trust any stylist here yet to take tt step.
But perhaps i will trim my hair soon at a good salon ard here.
I haf not trim my hair in such a long time. record!
This whole wk.
Crash course for QMA and Accounting.
Really hope. that i will understand.
Do not wish for it to turn out like the quiz issues again.
So arghz.
past wkend:
Party at my place.
Pretty smooth.
Quite a bit of alcohol was cleared up tt dae.
Results: one dead drunk, one overly high. the rest sober but high.
Steamboat was well. tho the aftermath smell at my place. ewww...
PRAWNS!
Coogee Beach.
The waves. Love em to bits.
You can never ever get those in singapore.
I love everyone's presence.
The only down point.
The sun was so not strong for tanning.
Super disappointed.
I hafta get a tan. real soon.
Anyone interested to get a tan, pls let me know.
hmm. tts abt all.
When i saw it, i felt real bad.
♥ I'm still missing...
7:16 PM
Part of everything... 
the rest: high but sober...
still high... 
the overly high...
Rubbie, never been my game?
Wet?
People say i look ...
Had to hold her jaw. Just did plastic no?
Oops! Extra.
What an idiot!
Love em to bits...