The last paper of the UNSWAsia will be on Tues. Followed by a student party. I wonder how does it feel when i step to that place for the ever last time it exist? I do not really feel the sadness that most are feeling. Perhaps the reality has not hit me that hard yet. Or perhaps i know that i will still have everyone whom i care for by my side in Sydney. Though there are some that i will not see.
The reality of me departing from this place seems to be slowly slipping in now. I had a hard fall when i first know the news. Fortunately, i had someone together with me in this whole espoide. (I am not alone.) From the flight, to UNSW adminstrative stuffs, to accommodation, to bank a/cs, etc... This pushed me towards the positive side. It made me look forward to the "new" life there.
But i seem to be falling back again, recently. The thought that i could not see those who i wish to see, as and when i wish to... The thought that i could not call those who i wish to hear, as and when i wish to... Just makes me feel....
Two rejections. One more to go. I once asked him, "what do you think of my chance of getting in?" Even him told me its slim. This hit me: I know i am going to be gone on 18th July.
To survive: I have to be strong. I have to learn independence for this period. I have to keep be the usual cheery me for this show. I have to tell myself constantly that "i-can-do-it"
I do not know how much i can depend on xx. But I do not think xx will ever be the pillar, once promised. He once told me, " i am not needed anymore by xx." I believe. Thats why i might turn to be a burden. I learn to understand how xx feel. learn to understand how life is. learn to understand what i could take from one is no longer like the sec days. Although i always wish that history could change but i know its naive. I have to learn xxxxx...
Emo.
Craving for fries but some idiot who do not wish to eat ice cream alone, deprived me from my fries!
