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Monday, June 25, 2007


The last paper of the UNSWAsia will be on Tues.
Followed by a student party.
I wonder how does it feel when i step to that place for the ever last time it exist?
I do not really feel the sadness that most are feeling.
Perhaps the reality has not hit me that hard yet.
Or perhaps i know that i will still have everyone whom i care for by my side in Sydney.
Though there are some that i will not see.

The reality of me departing from this place seems to be slowly slipping in now.
I had a hard fall when i first know the news.
Fortunately, i had someone together with me in this whole espoide. (I am not alone.)
From the flight, to UNSW adminstrative stuffs, to accommodation, to bank a/cs, etc...
This pushed me towards the positive side.
It made me look forward to the "new" life there.

But i seem to be falling back again, recently.
The thought that i could not see those who i wish to see, as and when i wish to...
The thought that i could not call those who i wish to hear, as and when i wish to...
Just makes me feel....

Two rejections.
One more to go.
I once asked him, "what do you think of my chance of getting in?"
Even him told me its slim.
This hit me: I know i am going to be gone on 18th July.

To survive:
I have to be strong.
I have to learn independence for this period.
I have to keep be the usual cheery me for this show.
I have to tell myself constantly that "i-can-do-it"

I do not know how much i can depend on xx.
But I do not think xx will ever be the pillar, once promised.
He once told me, " i am not needed anymore by xx."
I believe.
Thats why i might turn to be a burden.
I learn to understand how xx feel. learn to understand how life is. learn to understand what i could take from one is no longer like the sec days.
Although i always wish that history could change but i know its naive.
I have to learn xxxxx...

Emo.



Craving for fries but some idiot who do not wish to eat ice cream alone, deprived me from my fries!



♥ I'm still missing...
12:23 AM








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