IIIUPDATES!!!!
First of, i am suppose to be resting or studying now. BUT.
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Nowadays, I am sleeping more than i should be. With 24 hours, i should only be allowed 3 hours of sleep. The rest should be spent wisely on my projects. I have 3 projects due on the same date, next week. Believe it! I am so screwed.
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Not only am i a mess due to the projects. Adding to my woes, i have to work. SUSHI TEI. I had no intentions to begin "my career" yet. But, opportunity came knocking on my doors. It will be the dumbest move to reject it. Now, i am stuck with 2 projects and 2 days of work for my weekend. I wonder again, am i the fool?
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Upcoming weeks will be the busiest period of the semester. After crossing the hell deadlines, i have to hibernate in the library for 9 consecutive days. Hibernation will prepare me for my first 2 papers on 13th of June. FRIDAY THE THIRTEEN! How much luckier can i get?
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This semester taught me much. I learnt the need to GET A LIFE in aussie! Though i do not lead a totally colour-less life here. But somehow i realised that if i had lived my life to the fullest, i might not suffer that much. The sufferings came from dozens of sources. Note: One of the source, brought me to the deepest end of hell.
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So. Instincts of survival prompted the works of "D" and "I" from the D.I.S.C model. I went all out to ensure that every minute of sem 2 2008 will be well spent. I got myself a job. I got myself a spot in COMSOC. I got myself 5 days of school. I got myself a partner for the aerobic classes. Is it enough to push you out of my mind? Or is it enough to make myself go bonkers?
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On a more positive note. I am returning back soon. Days ago, I dreamt of walking down the aisle of far east plaza and marina square. Soon, i will be physically breezing down the paths. This time, one month ONLY. Its not sufficient but i am grateful. I love my family. Aw... "link?"
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Side note: the following content may sound foreign to most. I almost gave up today. The ups and downs drained much of me away. I typed it out yet it was saved it in drafts instead. I realized that everything went down the drain. Your right, it takes time. Time heals everything. Do not hurt myself. It is STUPID. When will things be right?
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I believe what you said. You tend to appreciate those whom are not within your grasp. I am sorry.
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I am there, are you?
♥ I'm still missing...
10:25 PM
Fear and regrets.
This post is specially for YOU:
i have been living my days well.
However, you always love to crush it.
I was told off, for not bothering to call for the past 2 days.
Bearing in mind that you made no efforts either.
This is not the usual me but you turned me this way.
I told you, i am no longer the same.
You got pissed / disappointed.
You made me understood the meaning of guilt.
Therefore, I apologised though i know deep down that you had no rights.
Yet you answered me with " i am busy" and "DO NOT BOTHER ME".
Why?
CAUSE "I AM WATCHING A SHOW ON CRUNCHY ROLL!".
Hilarious ain't i ?
I have been made a fool again.
I tried to shut myself from getting anymore wounds from you.
Yet again and again, i failed.
Failed to such miserable extend, that i got hurt cause of crunchyroll.
Crunchyroll can be paused.
My feelings can't.
If i can, i will move on.
Move on to somewhere that i see no signs of you.
Somewhere that allow me to lay in the arms of one whom love me more.
Here i go again.
Crying over such stupid things you do to me.
If this is your form of love, i wish to be alone.
i wish but yet i still can't.
I regret.
I made a mistake.
♥ I'm still missing...
9:08 PM
Though blur but its stays clearly imprinted. There is a limit to everything.
All your frustrations are your flaws.
If you always wonder why, just look back.
Your not my everything.
Yet i feel restricted to everything.
I allow it to happen but its not for granted.
I took many steps, so i gave it my all.
Have i not done enough?
Are you asking for more?
Where is the line drawn?
I am sick.
Sick to the very deepest root in me.
How much do you know me?
I think, none.
On the side note.
I had a very bad day.
I miss you deeply.
I wish for my troubles gone.
♥ I'm still missing...
12:59 AM
No. 18
The day it started.
The day it was.
The day of yours.
And the day of ours.
It means everything.
Crazy weeks ahead.
I ain't suppose to be playing this hard anymore.
In less than a month, i will be going through hell.
"2 papers on the very first day of hell."
Believe it.
For the sake of us. i gave it all in.
If the choice is to forbid, i will take it all back.
You will then understand why.
Self-centred.
♥ I'm still missing...
10:49 AM
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Fear and regrets.
Though blur but its stays clearly imprinted. 
